How to get what you want in your negotiation - “Shy kids get no sweets”
Be honest. Are you one of the millions of us who are conditioned to being meek or reticent, conforming to some order of manners, or are plain afraid of asking for what you want?
For many Brits, it is often “not the done thing” to speak plainly about asking for what one wants, and perish the thought that you try and push your luck that might “put someone out” (in other words - ask for something that is beyond what’s being offered, or worse, not on offer at all).
But how might this behaviour hinder our chances of obtaining a successful negotiation outcome?
We all negotiate much more than we think we do; in work (negotiating a salary increase, or to attend a training course for example), and at home too (with your kids, perhaps on the payment they might receive for cleaning a car). The outcomes of hundreds of individual interactions are handled via negotiation, where “splitting the difference”, arbitration, or simply caving-in are not acceptable outcomes.
The inherent problem with not articulating your desires clearly in a negotiation context are mainly twofold, i) the party with whom you’re negotiating is probably not a gifted mind-reader (unlike my wife) and is therefore unlikely to be aware of your needs, let alone meet them, and ii) you will never know what else you could have achieved from your negotiation if you never even make your request known!
It’s a sickening feeling to walk away from a negotiation knowing that you could have secured a better price, faster delivery, or a higher quality of service if only you’d explicitly asked for what you wanted, such as “what can you do to improve the price/ delivery time / quality”, or even, “how can I get a better deal on xyz”.
I grew up by the mantra “shy kids get no sweets”, probably making a nuisance of myself with my egregious requests, but also getting a better deal. Going into a negotiation, prepared with your wish list and asking these kind of direct questions in a constructive and friendly manner will not harm your relationship with your negotiating counterparts. So in your next negotiation make sure you ask for what you want.
If you think your team would benefit from Negotiation training, book a free call to discuss your needs HERE.
The best days lie ahead
Martin
