What Does “Negotiation” Mean To You?
Why does the word “negotiation” carry emotional baggage?
For someone who’s comfortable with negotiation, I’ve always been fascinated by why the negotiation process is feared by so many people.
It seems that the very mention of the word can leave people feeling dirty, or even induce a little mouth vomit.
I listened to a great podcast from Negotiations Ninja the other day (I strongly recommend you listen to this podcast if you’re anyway involved in the world of negotiation) and it spoke of the “emotional baggage” attached to the word, because it evokes a sense of conflict, tension and frustration.
Research shows that negotiation, like networking, makes people feel dirty. Even though everyone recognises that it’s desirable behaviour, but nobody wants to do it.
That just shows how much some people dislike negotiation, doesn’t it?
It can be a silent affliction, too! Few people would admit to being a terrible negotiator (or admit that they’re a bad driver). And if nobody sees or knows about the result, it’s only your conscience that will be in on your dark secret.
It can be too easy NOT to negotiate, either complying or completely avoiding negotiation instead.
My advice to those of you who aren’t YET comfortable with negotiation is as follows:
1. Do your research on the topic of negotiation – there are loads of good books, one of my favourites is here. Watch videos on You Tube, take an online short course on Udemy, and listen to podcasts, so you understand the basics.
2. This is a big one – think about negotiation as a game. Yes, that’s right. Detach yourself from the process, it’s not personal. You can even put on a “negotiation personality” if that helps. Negotiation is NOT personal.
3. Remember, if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Or as I like to phrase it, “Shy kids get no sweets”.
4. Start small and build your confidence – visit a car boot sale, practice walking away when the seller doesn’t meet your price. Try it in small shops, or whenever you need two or more of something. Try asking for extras when you make a big purchase like a suit plus belt, or handbag plus earrings.
You’ll feel a whole lot happier for having tried to negotiate, and you could end up getting a better deal.
