The Psychology Of “Feel, Felt, Found”
Whether you’re in Sales or not…you’re in sales. Think about it. Whether we’re selling ideas or products, we’re trying to convince someone to make a decision in our favour.
It’s likely that not everyone we encounter will simply agree that what we’re proposing is a good idea, though.
They’ll have their own view of the world, have different or conflicting objectives, or may just love to say no. Ring any bells?
Having moved from the buyer side of the table to the seller side AND also having benefitted from some sales training, I’d like to give you a universal technique for handling such objections.
It’s called Feel, Felt, Found.
It’s like agreeing with what they’ve said but subtly then saying that they’re wrong (without telling them they’re wrong!) It really does work and can be applied in a work or home setting. Let me explain how this would look.
Let’s suppose that the person you’re trying to influence says that they don’t want to go for a day out watching horseracing (I can’t think how anyone in their right mind would think that, but people are weird sometimes😁).
They might say, “I really don’t want to go racing. It takes so long and it’s pretty boring, just watching horses running in a field”.
And in response, what you’d say is…
“I know how you FEEL, BECAUSE OTHERS have FELT the same way, saying that [insert their objection here, using their exact words], BUT what they FOUND was the time passed really quickly, you can get up close to these impressive animals and with all the atmosphere of the racetrack, it’s incredibly exciting.”
Why does this work? There’s a surprising amount of psychology packed into this simple approach.
The FEEL part is about demonstrating empathy with their point of view. You’re not dismissing them and telling them they’re wrong (which is a big mistake, of course).
Instead, you’re showing that you’re listening to them (people want to feel heard) and trying to understand their view. This invokes the principle of Liking.
“BECAUSE” is a word that acts on our subconscious. It’s a trigger word that seems to get people to comply automatically (see Langer, 1977)
By using their exact words, you’ve shown that you were genuinely listening to their viewpoint. Again, incredibly powerful.
“OTHERS FELT” – activates the principle of Social Proof. It’s even more powerful if you can identify many and similar others to the person you’re trying to influence. The person knows that they’re not alone in feeling the way they do.
“BUT” (or “however”) acts as a bridge to what’s coming next. We often forget or negate the words that have come before BUT, focusing instead on the words that come after it.
And that helps us in this example. Declaring what others have FOUND (and then providing your solution to their objection) illustrates to the other person that people similar to them have made the decision to proceed with your recommendation.
So there it is. A universal objection-handling technique.
I love this quote that relates to this: “A mind changed against its will, is of the same opinion still.”
The best days lie ahead.
Martin
