You know that moment when you say something and it lands with a thud… then someone else says almost the same thing and suddenly it’s genius?
Yep. That’s persuasion.
It’s not about slick branding or smooth talk. When it works, it’s because there’s a pattern, a rhythm.
And people have been poking at that rhythm for decades: in sales, in negotiations, in marketing… even around the kitchen table.
The version I’m sharing here comes straight from Dr Robert Cialdini (yes, that Cialdini), who’s basically the global go-to on influence and ethical persuasion. His principles aren’t “tactics” or “hacks.”
They’re solid behavioural science. Which means they don’t just sound good on paper. They actually work in real conversations, with real people.
Here’s a fun one: hotels who changed their towel-reuse signs to say “most guests reuse their towels” saw reuse rates jump to 44.1%. Same towels. Same guests. Just a smarter nudge.
And that’s really the point. These aren’t fluffy “tips.” They’re levers. Pull them well and you can move a conversation in your favour — whether that’s in a boardroom, a proposal, or a landing page you knocked together on a Sunday afternoon.
Oh, and if you’d like a hand putting this stuff into practice? That’s what I do. I was lucky enough to be trained directly by Dr Cialdini himself, and now I get to coach others through the Cialdini Institute.
So if you want persuasion that feels natural, human and actually works, reach out. I’d love to help.
Why persuasion works and why it matters
The world’s noisy. Ads, emails, pitches (it never stops!).
Persuasion is what cuts through. And no, it’s not about tricking people. It’s about understanding how decisions actually get made and helping people make the right one.
Here’s the thing: most decisions aren’t pure logic. Behavioural science shows up to 95% of choices happen in the subconscious, driven by shortcuts, social cues, little nudges we don’t even notice. (So much for “rational decision-making,” right?)
Which is why even the most airtight argument can still flop if it doesn’t tap into how people really behave.
That’s where Cialdini’s principles come in. Not guesses, not hunches. Evidence-based. Backed by decades of research, experiments, and real-world application.
Bottom line? If you work with humans, persuasion is already part of your job. Knowing how to use it well just gives you an edge.
Want your team to learn this without the theory drag? My “Science of Ethical Influence” keynote packs the psychology into a fast, practical 1–2 hour session: perfect for leadership groups, events, or company rollouts.
The seven proven principles of persuasion
Let’s get into it: the seven principles, how they work, and how you can apply them to real-world scenarios.
If you want a deeper dive into how these principles apply in the real world, my Persuasion and Influencing One-Day Course is a high-energy, practical training designed to shift behaviour fast.
1. Reciprocity: give first, earn trust
Humans are hardwired to return favours. It’s one of the most consistent behavioural patterns across cultures and industries: when someone gives us something, we feel a natural urge to give something back.
That’s the core of reciprocity. And when used strategically, it’s a powerful way to build trust, open conversations, and create forward momentum, without needing to push.
This isn’t about handing out freebies for the sake of it. It’s about offering meaningful value first, in a way that lowers resistance and builds goodwill.
- In a sales context? It could be sharing tailored insight before the client asks.
- In procurement? Offering flexibility in one area can unlock concessions elsewhere.
- In marketing? It’s the free trial, the useful guide, or the quick win before the pitch.
A 2006 study found that waiters who offered a chocolate with the bill increased tips by 3%. Add a second chocolate? Tips jumped by 14%. Why? The customer felt looked after and responded accordingly.
Reciprocity creates emotional balance. It shifts the dynamic from transactional to relational. People feel less like they’re being sold to, and more like they’re being supported.
So ask yourself:
- What can you give before you ask for something?
- What value can you lead with that feels specific, relevant, and helpful?
Start there, and the rest of the conversation gets easier.
2. Commitment and consistency: get a small yes, earn a bigger one
People like to be seen as consistent. Once they’ve taken a position, even a small one, they’re more likely to stick to it. That’s the power of commitment and consistency. It’s why small actions often lead to big decisions.
The key? Start with a low-friction ask. Something easy to say yes to. Once someone commits, verbally, in writing, or even just mentally, they’re more likely to align future behaviour with that initial choice.
- In negotiation? Getting early agreement on common goals sets the tone for the rest of the deal.
- In procurement? Asking a supplier to agree to a minor service level upfront can smooth the path for more substantial terms later.
- In sales? A prospect who says yes to a short demo is far more likely to entertain a proposal than someone who’s never engaged at all.
A classic field study saw researchers go door-to-door asking homeowners to display a large, ugly road safety sign on their front lawn. Most said no. But when a separate group was asked first to display a small sticker in their window, a simple show of support, they were more likely to agree to the large sign later.
It’s not just about behaviour. It’s about identity. Once people make a choice, they begin to see themselves as the kind of person who makes that choice. And they’ll act accordingly.
In your next pitch, proposal, or conversation, avoid leading with the big ask. Instead, ask:
- What’s the smallest yes I can get right now?
- How can I create momentum through micro-commitments?
Because small steps lead to big decisions, especially when they feel like your idea.
3. Social proof: when in doubt, people follow people
When people are uncertain, they look to others for direction. That’s social proof in action. It’s why reviews matter. It’s why case studies work. And it’s why, in high-stakes decisions, people often ask: “What are others doing?”
Social proof is especially powerful in moments of hesitation. If someone’s on the fence, knowing that others like them have already taken the leap makes it feel safer and smarter to follow.
This isn’t about bragging. It’s about credibility by association. You’re showing that your solution, idea, or offer has already worked elsewhere.
- In procurement? Referencing suppliers already working with similar companies builds confidence fast.
- In sales? Highlighting industry-specific success stories shows you understand the market.
- In leadership? Pointing out team members already on board with a change encourages the rest to align.
People trust behaviour more than instruction. The takeaway: Don’t just say it works, show that it’s working for others.
Here’s how to do it effectively:
- Use client logos (with permission) to show who you’ve worked with.
- Share short, specific testimonials that speak to results.
- In conversation, reference similar clients who’ve already said yes.
Social proof lowers risk, builds momentum, and nudges decisions in your favour. So before your next meeting or proposal, ask:
- Who else has benefited from this?
- And how can I make that visible?
4. Authority: be the expert they trust
When uncertainty is high, people defer to those who look like they know what they’re doing. That’s authority in action, and it’s one of the fastest ways to build credibility and reduce resistance.
Authority isn’t just about titles or qualifications (although those help). It’s about how confidently and clearly you present your expertise. People listen to those who signal competence, whether it’s through experience, data, or professional presence.
- In sales? Demonstrating a deep understanding of the client’s industry earns you influence.
- In procurement? Referencing benchmarks, compliance standards, or regulatory shifts shows you know the terrain.
- In negotiation? The party that walks in prepared with insights, not just opinions, sets the tone.
Now, no one’s suggesting you throw on a white coat or carry a clipboard. But you should be thinking about how you present your credibility in every interaction. Because in the absence of authority, the default is doubt.
Here’s how to apply it:
- Use specific, verifiable language, back claims with facts, not fluff.
- Reference experience (“In the last 12 months, we’ve helped 40+ clients navigate this exact challenge…”).
- Highlight results, credentials, or relevant partnerships, without overselling.
- Authority gives people permission to trust you. And when trust is high, resistance drops.
So ask yourself:
- What signals of expertise am I bringing into the room?
- And are they obvious before I open my mouth?
5. Liking: people buy from people they like
It’s not enough to be right; you also need to be relatable. Because when people like you, they’re far more open to being influenced by you. In fact, we’re more likely to say yes to someone who’s friendly, familiar, or similar to us, even when the logic is the same.
That’s the principle of liking. And in business, it shows up everywhere, from buyer behaviour to boardroom decisions. People don’t just want the best solution. They want to work with people they trust, connect with, and feel good around.
This isn’t about being fake. It’s about finding genuine connection points.
- In a negotiation? A shared interest or even a bit of small talk can soften the tone and build rapport.
- In procurement? A supplier who listens well, communicates clearly, and follows through will outshine a better-priced competitor with poor chemistry.
- In sales or leadership? Using approachable, human language, rather than corporate jargon, helps people drop their guard and engage more openly.
A study from a group of researchers at Stanford found that people were more than twice as likely to reach an agreement in a negotiation when they spent just a few minutes getting to know each other first. A little rapport goes a long way.
Here’s how to apply the principle of liking effectively:
- Be human, use names, eye contact, and open body language.
- Find common ground early: shared goals, experiences, or values.
- Show genuine curiosity about the other person’s perspective, don’t just wait for your turn to speak.
People don’t need you to be their best friend. But if you come across as cold, arrogant, or purely transactional? You’ll struggle to influence, even if everything else stacks up.
So before your next meeting or message, ask:
- Am I building a relationship, or just making a request?
- What can I do to make this interaction more human?
6. Scarcity: when something’s limited, people want it more
Nothing grabs attention like the fear of missing out. When something is scarce, whether it’s time, stock, access, or opportunity, it immediately feels more valuable. That’s the scarcity effect. And it works because people are far more motivated by potential loss than potential gain.
Scarcity creates urgency. It pushes people off the fence. And it turns vague interest into decisive action.
But it has to be real. False urgency or fake “limited offers” erode trust fast. Used well, though, scarcity helps people prioritise decisions they’ve already been considering.
- In procurement? A supplier offering a discount valid only until quarter-end moves the conversation forward faster.
- In sales? A product with limited availability or a closing window can drive a decision this week, not next quarter.
- In training and events? Capping the number of places or adding a deadline to registration is often the difference between a passive browser and a paid attendee.
So how do you use it effectively?
- Highlight genuine time limits (“This pricing holds until Friday.”)
- Be transparent about capacity (“We’re only taking on three more clients this month.”)
- Make exclusivity part of the offer (“Available to past clients only.”)
Scarcity works because it taps into our instinct to act before something disappears. But it only works if people already want what you’re offering. Use it to accelerate a yes, not to force a bad fit.
Ask yourself:
- What’s truly limited about what I’m offering?
- How can I make that clear without overselling?
7. Unity: speak to shared identity, not just shared interest
People are more easily persuaded by those they see as part of their group. Not just someone they like, but someone who’s like them. That’s the essence of unity, the sense of “us” over “you and me”.
It’s a powerful shift in perspective. When people feel you’re on the same team, fighting the same battle, or working toward the same outcome, they drop their guard. The conversation becomes less adversarial, more collaborative, and decisions happen faster.
Unity isn’t always obvious. It goes beyond surface-level rapport. It’s about tapping into shared identity: values, mission, culture, or community.
- In sales or service? You’re not just offering a product, you’re solving a problem together.
- In procurement? It’s not “us versus them”, it’s “how do we both win?”
- In internal change management? Employees are more likely to adopt new processes if they feel their voice was heard during development, not just handed the outcome.
During the 2012 U.S. elections, one campaign found that simply changing the wording from “Please vote” to “Be a voter” increased turnout. Why? Because it framed the action as part of their identity, not just a task. That subtle shift boosted engagement significantly.
To apply unity in real-world influence:
- Use inclusive language: “we”, “us”, “our goals”, not “you” and “me”.
- Frame decisions as a shared outcome (“We’re both aiming for the same result…”)
- Reference shared values or external threats (“As a team committed to ethical supply chains…”)
This isn’t just about making people feel good. It’s about removing friction. When someone sees you as one of them, your advice feels less like persuasion and more like alignment.
So before your next negotiation, proposal, or meeting, ask:
- What do we have in common that matters in this context?
- How can I make that visible from the start?
Because the strongest influence doesn’t feel like influence, it feels like belonging.
Ready to go beyond the basics? The Cialdini Certified Ethical Influence Practitioner course enables you to learn directly from me, a Certified Ethical Influence Coach, and apply those principles in your own business.
Persuasion is a skill; use it well
Persuasion isn’t about tricking people. It’s not about pushing anyone into a corner or nudging them into a decision they’ll regret. It’s about understanding how humans actually make choices — and helping them make better ones.
Cialdini’s seven principles are your toolkit. Backed by science, not guesswork. (So no, this isn’t just another “life hack” list.) These ideas are used every day by global organisations, high-performing teams, and negotiators who know their stuff. And when you apply them with integrity, they build trust, improve outcomes, and keep conversations moving in the right direction.
Quick recap:
- Give first (reciprocity)
- Start small (commitment & consistency)
- Show who else is on board (social proof)
- Demonstrate credibility (authority)
- Be likable, be human (liking)
- Add urgency when it’s real (scarcity)
- Stand together, not apart (unity)
These aren’t just handy in boardrooms. They work whether you’re negotiating a big contract, leading change inside your organisation, or just trying to get a quicker “yes” from the right person.
The truth is, people who understand influence, and use it well, always outperform the ones who don’t.
Want your team to actually apply all seven principles to your real-world challenges? That’s exactly what my Cialdini Ethical Influence Application Workshop is built for. It’s hands-on, in-person, and gives teams persuasive action plans they can start using immediately.
Put persuasion into practice
Ready to put this stuff to work? If you want these principles on your side, whether that’s in negotiations, procurement, leadership, or just getting faster “yeses”, let’s talk.
I run practical, down-to-earth training that shows teams how to actually use persuasion where it matters most (no theory marathons, promise).