Having practised negotiation during my career and now being involved in teaching this topic, I’ve identified 5 behaviours that lead to negotiation success. I’ve always wanted to come up with a clever* acronym, so here it is:

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It’s E.A.R.T.H.

E – Empathy

Now, this isn’t about having sympathy for the position of the other party, getting overly concerned with their situation. No, empathy is about putting yourself in their shoes to understand their motivations and what’s important to them. Why do they need what they’re asking from you?

Not only is this fantastic from a rapport-building perspective; your counterpart will feel heard and valued, but in using this approach in combination with great questioning, you’ll also uncover their real interests that lie behind their positions.

A – Assertiveness

A useful definition of assertiveness in this context is “standing-up for and confidently stating your needs while also respecting the needs of your counterpart”.

Negotiation is about resolving differences (often referred to as “conflict”, but I find this word to be too emotive) and to do so, you’ll need to stand your ground on the issues that are most important to you.

If assertiveness is a challenge for you, try practicing confident and precise statements that you’ll use in a real negotiation, with your colleagues. Trust me, knowing what to say and exactly how you’ll phrase it, will help you protect value.

You’ll need to strike a balance though. If you’re not assertive enough, you’ll be a pushover, conceding value unnecessarily. If you turn the assertiveness dial up too much and become aggressive (totally disinterested in the needs of the other party) it will lead to the other party trying to compete with you, pursuing their own needs, too. See the Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode instrument.

R – Respect

When you offer someone respect, they’re likely to respond favourably. If you’re in long-term B2B relationships, this is hugely important. When both parties are respectful, even the most difficult issues within a negotiation can be handled without damaging the relationship. Tough on the issue, warm on the person.

T – Trust

Zero sum or “distributive” win/lose negotiations are often conducted in an environment of distrust. This might be appropriate for a one-off negotiation, such as when buying a car, but it’s not a sustainable approach to maintain long-term relationships.

Where you’re likely to be conducting negotiations with the other party over months or years, often striving for Win/win (note big “W” for you), trust will play a huge role in your negotiation success.

Without trust being felt mutually, both parties will be reluctant to get their real interests on the table and less willing to collaboratively explore alternative solutions to the issues. You’ll be leaving value on the table.

Without trust, how do you know that your counterpart will fulfil their side of the bargain and implement your deal in full?

H – Humour

I haven’t just added this to complete my clever* acronym. Honest.

Firstly, I’m not saying that you have to entertain your counterpart by delivering hilarious, carefully rehearsed one-liners.

But I think the use of humour in a negotiation has multiple benefits. Adopting a playful approach can help you quickly build rapport, dissipate the tension around very tricky issues, and totally disarm any creative tactics that your counterpart may use. It’s a winner.

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The best days lie ahead.

Martin

* - this opinion is the author’s own.